“Well, yeah, this is pretty conclusive.” The street doc looked at the diagnostics pad in her hand, shrugging. “Your doll’s pregnant.”

“…How?” The confused boy looked over at the doll, which was sitting off to the side, idly amusing itself with an animation on a nearby screen. “It’s a doll!”

“Idunno dude, I’m not the one who stuck his dick in a doll.”

“I wouldn’t- I haven’t- I didn’t fuck the doll!” He kept looking between the doll and street doc. “It’s not even my doll, I’m just watching it and its brothers for my cousin while she’s out of state.”

“I mean I ain’t your mom, you don’t gotta play dumb with me. I don’t judge.”

“I didn’t fuck the doll! Besides, it’s a doll! How did it even get pregnant in the first place?”

“Well, when a boy loves his sex toy very much…”

“It’s-it’s not even a doll like that! It’s just some maid doll. I don’t think it even has the right bits for that.”

“All I’m saying is you’re not the first human to get frisky with one of these things. Though I’ll admit you’re the first I’ve seen that managed to knock one up… sure you’re not some kind of warlock or something? Usually that takes some magic.”

“If I could do magic do you think I’d be here arguing with you?”

“Touche. Well, I mean, if you didn’t do it, think someone else might have got handsy with it while you were at work?”

“No, it’s been at my apartment the entire time.”

“Fuck if I know then dude. I wouldn’t want to be you when your cousin gets back tho… who knows how a witch is gonna react to finding out you knocked her property up.”

“I didn’t-okay, whatever. What can I do in the mean time?”

“Well, I’m not super familiar with doll anatomy, it’s always changing with these new witches, but I’ve got some general use homebrews that’ll probably work? Honestly I’m not exactly sure how dolls get sick in the first place, I think it’s all just a placebo.”

“…is the pregnancy a placebo?”

“You’ll fucking wish it was. Rare as this sort of thing is, I’ve still heard the stories; those things are magical batteries. Start mixing that with random human blood? Recipe for disaster. You might wish your cousin was back sooner.”

“Should I call her?”

“I’m a patch doc, not a relationship therapist. Is she gonna murder you over the phone?”

“Idunno.”

“Well, if you do call her, better have your story straight. You’re a reliable customer.”

“Thanks, I guess.” The boy glanced back over to the doll, who was still mesmerized by the animation. “Well, hypothetically, if that was my kid somehow… would it be okay?”

“What, the doll or the kid?” The doc shrugged, thinking for a moment. “It’s probably fine. I’ve seen some fucking weird hybrids come through my doors, life finds a way.”

“Huh. That makes sense, yeah.”

“Well, I got another appointment right behind you, squeezing you two in was a challenge believe it or not.” The doc grabbed a few vials from under her workbench, putting them in a bag and handing them over to the confused boy. “Best of luck, I guess. Keep me up to date.”

The two were shooed out of the clinic, the boy looking up at the drizzling sky as the doll opened an umbrella, chipper as ever.

“God, she’s gonna fucking kill me,” he muttered.

“Can this one tell its brothers?” The doll piped up. “They’ll be excited!”

“…sure. yeah. what’s the worst that can happen?”

“Miss’s cousin will have to move in with us! This one is sure Miss won’t mind having her cousin around <3”

“…fuck.”