“This one found Miss a date!” The figurine doll jumped atop a display shelf with phone in hand, startling the witch as he arranged far-less-chatty figurines into place. “Many dates, in fact!”

The witch sighed, begrudging taking the phone and looking at the gallery of options the doll had prepared for him. “Dare I even ask?”

“The other dolls all agree, Miss must go on a debate. Pick one or we’ll hex your bed.”

“You can’t perform hexes.”

“We’ll find a way!”

He flipped through a few profiles, murmuring under his breath as he did. “No… no… no… oh she looks nice, combat witch though, probably would get into fights about politics… no… a succubus?”

“Miss specified he likes girls: he did not specify about non-human girl-coded entities.”

“I mean, I guess. The cultural differences can be really tricky though, I don’t actually know how demon parenthood works.” He continued to skim through. “Angels too I see… is that a rock?”

“They’re called gems.”

“I didn’t know those were a thing.”

“No one else knew either!”

“Huh. And I have to pick one?”

“Or the dolls will poke you in your sleep.”

“Fine, okay.” He scrolled back through the pictures, before finally stopping back on the succubus. “Says here she just wants someone to talk to. I’ll go on a date with her, maybe learn a thing or two.”

“Good! The dolls here will take care of Miss’s chores while he’s gone.” The figurine doll was utterly ecstatic, quickly running off to inform its compatriots of its success as its Miss was left shaking his head, bewildered by the entire thing.

A few days later, the witch came back through the manor’s door in the early morning, a tired but content look on his face as the figurine doll and the many other dolls of the house greeted him.

“Did Miss get a girlfriend??” The figurine asked excitedly.

“I don’t think so. Maybe? She wants to do this again sometime.”

“How far did Miss get on the first night?”

“We stayed up until three in the morning playing firefight.”

“Miss played video games with his date?”

“Well, we went to a nice little cafe in hell first, got some great coffees, and then we went relic hunting in a pocket dimension. Turns out we both did our theses on the same subject, the late Samjaza era mage wars! It was a great time.”

“Will Miss be going out more now at least?”

“Probably yeah.”

“Good! This one bet a month of its chores to Persephone if Miss got a second date.”

“Of course you did.”






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