“Aren’t witches supposed to build their own dolls?” The figurine doll walked along the edge of the display cabinet, looking at the much-less-animate figures inside.

“Yeah, I’m just terrible at it,” the witch replied, inspecting one of the figures in particular.

“Wait, does that mean this one was bought too?”

“Yeah, I got you from a garage sale.”

“Did Miss pay good money for it?”

“I think you cost ten dollars. I haggled down from fifteen.”

“This one doesn’t understand currency. Is that a lot?”

“It’s about how much a sandwich costs.”

“Miss loves his sandwiches, so that must be a lot.”

“Yeah, we’ll go with that.” The witch made an awkward gesture to flag a clerk over to open the case, holding out a hand to retrieve his doll. “Back in the bag for now.”

“But it wants to participate!” The thing pouted, delaying long enough for the unusually attentive clerk to arrive before the witch had a chance to stow it away. “Hello! This one’s Miss wants that figurine right there.”

The clerk blinked for a moment, confused by the diminutive thing talking to them, before cautiously removing the figurine from the case and putting it out on the table, looking between the doll and the witch. “Uhm… this one miss?”

“Yeah, that one.” The witch had a pained expressed on his face, clearly not prepared for his doll to be involved in the transaction.

The clerk wrapped the purchase, cocking their head at the doll watching them intently. “Hey, I know that design. Are you animating these?”

“That one was just going on the shelf, actually.”

“But this one wants a sister!” The doll complained, looking up at its witch with a look best described as pitiful. “The dolls that don’t move are so boring!”

“I-can we not have this conversation right now please?”

The clerk continued to watch with a combination of confusion and bemusement, hitting a few keys on the register as the doll continued to pout at its witch. “Comes out to $150, ma’am.”

“Isn’t that more than ten?” The doll looked confused. “Are other dolls more expensive than it?”

“Trick of the math, I’ll explain it later.” The witch fumbled through his wallet, handing a few bills over and picking up his new purchase and the doll in one motion, hurrying out as quickly as he reasonably could without outright running out of the store.

“Why’s Miss so flustered?” The doll inquired from its exterior pouch on the witch’s purse, looking up at him with intrigue. “He’s usually so confident.”

“I don’t like dealing with humans, for one, and for two, you shouldn’t be joining in on those conversations.”

“But the servitor dolls do errands for Miss all the time? Humans know about dolls, don’t they?”

“Humans have very particular expectations of dolls, and witches, and everything else in their lives. They expect dolls to be full-sized maids, not talking limited run figurines.”

“But the clerk seemed nice about it?”

“Because humans also don’t like offending witches. But that goes both ways; cause too much of a stir and we’ll have a witchhunter visiting the manor before long.”

“Miss could defeat any hunter!”

“They don’t kill witches anymore, exciting as a duel might be. They bury us in paperwork and bureaucracy.”

“What’s that mean?”

“That means I don’t report you or the other figurines on my taxes.”

“Is that why Miss had us play Be Very Still when the agent came by last month?”

“Yes and you did great.”

“If this one teaches the new sister how to play that game can Miss animate it too? Please?”

“…I guess. That might be a little hard, though, this one’s personality is probably going be a bit prickly.”

“Oh, that reminds it, what’s ‘tsundere’ mean? The maid dolls said Miss keeps buying figurines called that.”

“kill me now”






Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: